I consider myself a pretty independent person. I have often taken pride in the fact that I, for the most part, can do things on my own. I often feel like I don’t want to bother someone else, or wait for them. Honestly, it takes some time of me trying to figure something out on my own before I would even think of asking for help. When I do decide to get help, I often have to convince myself that it is ok to ask. (Don’t get me wrong, there are a few areas where I rely heavily on my family. Just recently, my car broke down and I had to rely on them to help me, but they are the best and come to my rescue every single time. Shout out to my mama and grandma!)
Allowing oneself to be taken care of requires a lot of humility, I take care of myself and am wrecked anytime I need to ask for help. I have gotten a little bit better at it in recent years but not much. I have had to learn that there is a difference between having needs and being needy. For the longest time, I thought they were synonymous. It turns out, humans have needs. I despised my own humanity every time I had any semblance of a need that I couldn’t meet myself. Somehow I thought, I would be the one person in the world who could meet everyone else’s needs without needing anything myself. You’re not God, Stone, calm down. That is wildly unhealthy and will leave a person burnt out and resentful real quick.
The Lord is always quick to remind me that self-sufficiency is never the point. I wasn’t created to take care of everything and need nothing. I was created to need other people just like everyone else. People are not put off or surprised when I am in need because it is a part of life. In fact, I have most often found that people are happy to be there for me when I ask. It makes asking a lot easier, when I know the response will be one of grace, joy, and love.
Allowing ourselves to be taken care of by others is not a sign of weakness. It is instead, a sign of health. It’s a sign of community and family. We were not meant to be God. God is meant to be God. Trust me, He is a lot better at it than we are.
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